I am loving being on maternity leave and spending all my time with Olivia, but after Tim went back to work when Olivia was 6 weeks old the days started going by a little slower and I started finding myself looking for things to do to fill my time. I did the laundry and the dishes and the straightening up everyday, and once I started getting the hang of getting Olivia down for a nap I found that I had excess time on my hands. I’m an over thinker to the extreme, so idle hands to truly make the devil’s playground in my case. I started using my time to read about parenting methods and being a working parents versus a stay at home parent, and the comparison game got me good.
I’ve read multiple articles about not comparing yourself to other moms and that as long as you’re loving your baby and providing her with her basic needs then you’re doing all you are supposed to do, but that wasn’t enough for me. I needed to know I was doing everything right. And, much to my dismay, I have found since then that there is no right in parenting. The right thing to do is the thing that works. That’s a hard pill to swallow. But, once I swallowed it and we got Olivia’s two month shots, I had a friend tell me that I really just needed to start getting out more.
It’s true. Though I was going on walks with Olivia most days in our neighborhood and once went to Target, it still wasn’t enough. I had a few days where Olivia missed a nap and went haywire for the entire day, so I was convinced that if I went places it would throw Olivia off. But for my own sanity, I needed to get out. So I started making plans!
And since her two month shots, Olivia and I have been to water babies with daddy, lunch with a friend, and the zoo with a friend.
Since starting to get out more, I’ve found that Olivia really is capable of being flexible in her naps. She needs to have days here and there to recover and recuperate, and she needs to go straight down for a long nap when we get home from an excursion. But, we don’t have to be chained to the house to get in sleep. This is good for my sanity and also Olivia and my bonding.
The actual act of getting out, though, is challenging. I’m not going to pretend to write a tips post on how to get out of the house with an 11 week old, because I’m just learning myself. What I have learned, though, is that going out with a baby is nothing like going out without a baby. I’m constantly thinking about when Olivia last ate, whether she’s sleeping, if I need to change her, etc. I keep forgetting to think about my own eating or drinking. Trying to interact with another adult while also existing outside of the house and mothering is like completing a triathlon of another type. I love getting out of the house with Olivia and will continue to do so to enjoy my maternity leave and our bonding time, but by the time we get ourselves home it’s funny to see what state the diaper bag/my purse/the stroller are in.
Getting out has also caused me to slow my mind and stop comparing, because I don’t have as much time to just sit and think. A two hour outing requires so much planning and preparation that I can’t think much before, and by the time we get home I’m tired and just want to hang out on the couch and watch tv after getting household chores done. It also allows me to just do what works.
I do look forward to going other places. I know I’ll continue to get better at it! Eventually I may even be able to share my own tips or tricks on getting out of the house!
Any tips on getting out of the house without panicking or forgetting anything?
Where are other good places to take a baby that include a lot of strolling around?
You totally have the right mind set and a great postive attitude! Being a new mom isn't easy but you are making the most out of it. You are embracing it. Don't forget about taking care of yourself too. That's soooo important! Keep up the good work, mama! I would suggest join a mom's group. Lots of churches offer them, or even checking some out in your community. Maternity leave can feel lonely and isolating at times. Interacting with other moms is good for you, and you may even make new friends, or future friends for your daughter. Plus they of all people, will get it if you're running late or show up with spit up on your shirt! Lol. You can share even more outings to other places with them.
As Siena has gotten older I have been more and more willing to do things on the fly with her! Sometimes if it's a short trip I just bring my tiny diaper bag. But in general it doesn't take me long to get out of the house anymore – I just keep the diaper bag stocked and often the stroller is already in the car and we go! Glad you're getting out more – I promise it gets easier!
Isn't it nice to get out? When B was little I would try to get out everday I was home with him. We go to swim lessons, baby tumbling (both were free until 6 months of age), baby time at the library, or just walking around a store! Now that he is 1 and a half I've had to think of new places to go. He loved to run around and climb. This kid has so much energy to burn (just like his mama ha!) So we take trips to the park a lot!
Leaving the house is a longer process but soon it gets easier (or just becomes the normal). I often have a difficult time in the mornings on days I work and he goes to the sitters house. I try to pack the night before to help the morning run smoothly. Also, always carry and extra diaper or two along with an outfit and leave it in your car!