After the amazing wedding I went to this past weekend, I had some serious realizations.
This is getting real. I’m getting married. And it’s not “really far away” like I’ve been telling myself as I look and look and look and make no decisions or solid plans.
Well, that’s a lie. I have plans. We picked our date, venue, caterer, dj, and photographer. We’ve scheduled our engagement pictures, we have a shower and an engagement party planned. We’re not doing that bad, but after talking to another bride this weekend, I realized I’ve got to put on my big girl panties and start doing the little things I’ve been putting off.
I’ve got a list. In my Erin Condren. But it’s really overwhelming.
And can I ask you brides a couple questions:
1. When do you send the Save the Dates?
2. When do you go taste cake?
3. When do you meet with a florist and what do you tell them?
And what I’m actually thinking about right now…is myself at the wedding. What do I want myself to look like in pictures? What do I want my hair to look like, etc? And it’s made me make a few goals. I’m sure you’re going to be shocked to see what comes next.
I really need to lose weight (like I have all these other times), but this time I’ve got a serious goal. I mean, it’s the best goal I think. When else will it really matter this much? And it isn’t because I want to just be skinny for my wedding, it’s because I’ve always wanted to lose weight, and I don’t want to look back on July 21st 2012 and wish that I had started on November 1st 2011 and have opted not to. I mean, on March 11th 2011 I decided I wanted to start running with the Couch to 5k program (when I couldn’t even run a mile), and on October 1st 2011 I ran a half marathon in just over 2 hours and 6 minutes. I can do this. I just need a little more motivation.
I have almost 38 weeks to go (263 days to be exact). And I want to lose 38 pounds. Funny how that works. And you might think that sounds like a high number, but I assure you that it is not at all for my height and current weight. I carry my weight all over, and 38 pounds on me will look more like 15 or 20, I assure you.
And I’m putting it out there to hold myself accountable. And to give myself little rewards along the way. Because rewards to myself are the only way that I’m going to get there. And they’re going to be pretty good, because I’ll need them (and I’m sorry if I’m offending you with talking about weight loss or rewarding myself with things, but this is what I’ve got to do…for myself).
At 10 pounds, I’m going to buy myself these:
or some other color. that’s not what matters. it’s that i want a pair but can’t justify. at 10 pounds i’ll be able to.
At 20 pounds, I’m going to buy myself these:
At 30 pounds and 38 pounds, I’m going to buy myself something else. I haven’t decided what yet, but I will choose as that date comes closer. And it will.
And it isn’t about me being happy, because I know it’ll be the happiest day of my life so far no matter what. But it is about my confidence and the ability to really love every single picture and every single memory. And I hope that it’s okay with you that I’m putting this out there. Because I assure you, this isn’t a new goal. I wish it was. I wish the name of my blog hasn’t been Little Girl in the Big World: Pennies, Pounds, and Ponderings since the day I started it. I wish my first post hadn’t been about losing weight. But alas, it has been. And now I vow to myself and to you who’ll believe me for the 5th or 6th (or 7th?) time, this is it. November 1st, 2011 is the day that I begin.
And by a year…I mean just under 9 months…
I’ll be doing MyFitnessPal again.
I want to have more hair than the thin mop that I have right now. And to do that I’ll have to remember to take my hair vitamins and biotin every. single. day. And my thyroid medicine. Everything that I need to remember to take. I mean, I told you that it worked. I don’t know why I let it go sometimes…
And to remember that I’m going to buy one of those little pill things that your grandma has so that I can fill it weekly to remember if I’ve taken my pills each day.
And for now those are my marked goals. And I’ll be keeping up with them. And I’ll post sometimes. But not too much.
Thanks for your support! It’s always nice to know there are other bloggers and people out there who have similar goals or who have had similar goals and achieved them. I’ll be there one day.